8-18-12

So the surprising turn?? A rainbow baby coming in the Spring of 2013. =) Just as my husband and I decided to put ttc on hold and wait until next year, not to mention the odds we were given for getting pregnant on our own.

Well, unexpected but we are truly blessed and determined to get the best possible care. Hcg levels have been rising nicely so far and my OB is hoping to confirm baby is growing in the right spot soon, after an ectopic scare. I'm grateful that there is still hope for a TAC, so I'm not counting that out. Although if that's a no go, a TVCIC is a another great cerclage type and, according to my would have been TAC surgeon, the doctor in my area has a very good success rate with them. Fingers crossed insurance wont pose a problem and I'll just need a referral.

Thinking of you, my little sweetheart above, we miss you so much but we know you are looking down on all of us right now. I love you.

I knew this month was coming, I spent the first 8 days of August in tears. Azriel should be making his appearance, my husband would be setting up the birth pool, my midwife would be making her first visit to my home and I'd be going to weekly appointments... Instead, I'm making a memorial video and planning a balloon release. The people I have met along the way, have made this painful journey bareable. This is a journey no one deserves to be on and hugs to each mom and dad. 

Very recently, this month has taken a turn to become even more bittersweet. I have to wait until the 16th go know for sure but it's taken both of us by total surprise! 

Feeling pretty good..

I have found a Perinatologist!!! =D 

While he did explain why he thought an abdominal cerclage wasn't the best idea, it's still my choice and he would be equally supportive. Pointing out if I had a change of heart and wanted a vaginal cerclage, (or plan B as I called it) I would be in good hands. I'm still leaning toward a TAC but since I could be sent directly to the MFM department next time, I'm glad I found one who isn't so anti-TAC. :)

A bit about me

I want to give the most credit to my wonderful and amazing husband, who truly is my soul mate and my very best friend. 


I've been meaning to blog for a while, I did once and then didn't get back to it. Given how I do like to write, I'm working on changing that. Mostly, this will be a blog dedicated to adding another member to our family. I'll start with the most basic part, how I met my husband...


We met in high school, we had the same art class. I was 16 and he was 18 going on 19, he got held back in Kinder if anyone's curious. DH was (and still is) the romantic love type, I was way more jaded and had no interest in relationships. He was really sweet though, brought me roses during the last week of school and asked me out. I agreed to one date. He says by the end, he was totally in love and knew we'd get married. Long story short, I put him through a LOT of heartache and frustration in the first few months but he was determined to convince me relationships and even marriage weren't 'a waste of time' and could be amazing when you're with the right person. I insisted I wanted children someday and didn't want someone to stand in my way, arguing about stupid stuff and spending money on ridiculous things. Why should I have to put up with that nonsense instead of doing it on my own, completely eliminating the headache of someone else's opinion on how and where money should be spent? Among other issues.. Again, his answer was the right person wouldn't do any of those things, but setting impossible standards wasn't the answer either. Just give him the chance to show me and I was free to walk away if I really didn't want to be with him.

In August of this year, we'll celebrate 12 years of marriage, 14 years of being a couple and 3 amazing boys with one angel waiting for us on the other side. While it hasn't always been perfect, considering we had to literally grow up together, I can't imagine my life without him. I guess he showed me. ;)