6 weeks today. Which gives me 6 weeks to have a plan in place for a cerclage. I really can't help but question the timing of this, despite how grateful we are, the last thing we want is to lose this little one too. My poor husband is blaming himself for not making more money, all I can do is give him a big hug. He's been so amazing and strong through everything. Not many men would agree to the things he agreed to, all to have another child. It's in no way his fault. I do blame myself though, this is my piece of sh*t cervix I'm stuck with and we're in the middle of "I don't want to get sued" healthcare. No insurance is perfect and it's all a headache to deal with in it's own way.
I wish I could understand what we're supposed to learn from this. We had a plan in place that we felt would be our best option against IC, so why change it? Would I have met an untimely demise flying to NJ? Lost my life during surgery? Lost my fertility? What was so wrong about seeing a doctor that actually cared and wanted to see us have a healthy, full term child? There really isn't any support here, my concerns constantly get brushed off just like they did before and that turned out horribly. Everyone insists I'll be fine with a standard TVC, on the basis it's works for most women. I couldn't be happier those who go on to have thier healthy babies with the aid of a TVC. I wish it could ease the feelings of dread inside of me but it doesn't. Every red flag and alarm bell goes off every time a TVC is brought up for the plan of care for me. It leaves me feeling helpless that no one believes me and refuses to take my feelings seriously. This baby deserves so much better than that, I hope something... anything comes along and will help get our baby to term, I would settle for even just short of term, just as long as he or she doesn't endure unnecessary suffering.
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