10-14-12

The dollar menu was placed almost a week ago. It's physically a lot harder to get around than I thought it would be. Thankfully, my husband has been a great help and scored a great wheelchair. My 5 year old's teachers have been very sweet and understanding and help get him to the car so I don't have to get out and walk. I'm very grateful for that. 

Next step is my appointment with my regular OB to discuss options for a planned c-section. At least something should be a positive experience, settling for this lousy cerclage and even worse care providers is bad enough, then they expect me to plan my c-section with them????!!!! Yuck! Even though my husband likes the hospital, I do not want anything to do with that place after week 35. (assuming I make it there) Other people can use "baby steps" in a high risk pregnancy if they want but I don't completely agree with that mind set. Unless you already have a provider you like and trust, finding one takes time. So while I'm able, I'm starting the search. 

I also made the decision to not talk about my pregnancy in any IC forums until I feel up to it again. I'm glad everyone was supportive of my feelings and would welcome me back when I was ready. I hope I can get to that point but for now, it's best to find my own way through this. How could anyone else understand when they have game plans and doctors they trust? I just can't relate to anyone, I feel like I've just been set up to fail and go through another loss. That's certainly going to be uplifting to write about for the next few months, it's just better not to talk about it there and find a different support source. I just have to find one...